My friend Xan sent me some giant easter bunny for Bone Crawford and I love them but…
Bone Crawford is no more. Or, actually she still exists but I had to take her down because we’re selling this house and moving to a smaller one in the same neighborhood because this house feels too big and empty now that Hailey has moved away to college. Sadly, Bone Crawford is one of MANY things that I now have to find new homes for because so much stuff doesn’t fit. I gave away a truckload of stuff and I’m going to put some stuff on eBay to help fund Hailey’s college but I have a shocking amount of weird shit that is too big to ship anywhere and my neighborhood doesn’t allow garage sales. Ideally I’d find a San Antonio collector with lots of space and weird tastes but I’m not super hopeful because here are just a few of the many, many things I need to sell:
The (working) head of a Middle-earth tree Ent.
Hand-painted 3-foot-tall faces of George and Martha Washington.
An entire footlocker filled with vintage mother-of-pearl buttons from a button factory, but they’re filthy and all need to be cleaned because the factory was abandoned for decades.
A very old plastic horse that I bought for Nowhere but it didn’t fit.
Bertram, the giant bear head.
An old english pram. Taxidermied head included, if needed.
An art door that I thought I could use as a real door but it didn’t fit anywhere.
A Victorian roller cranking organ with 10 incredibly haunted sounding songs on cobs.
Marie Antoinette parade statue from the 50s on top of a display filled with a dozen tiny wooden houses I built.
Literally dozens of weird prints on old book pages.
A wearable dress made out of damaged copies of my books.
A TARDIS bookcase that is too small for you to get into unless you are a baby.
A creaky victorian fold-up ladder that will absolutely not hold your weight even if you are said baby.
Also, a shocking amount of taxidermied animals in clothes, a number of haunted dolls (including one that moves), a communion tray of glasses in case you want to do a lot of shots with Jesus, an actual robot on wheels I bough during covid so that people could visit the store virtually but we ended up not using because the team thought it was too creepy, a metal chicken mixer where the drink pours out of the beak like it’s throwing up your cocktail, a purse made out of an alligator foot, and a partridge in a pear tree.
PS. The giant easter bunny ears were not wasted, as Sir Terry Scratchett is now happily wearing them at Nowhere:
