To: “frank”
Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2025
Subject: “it gets better”
Hi Frank,
Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if, among the sea of “it gets better” sentiments, there are people who acknowledge that sometimes it doesn’t? My failed attempt was 29 years ago and it has not in fact gotten better. I tried so hard for such a long time to get better and be happy, but every year that passes leaves me more and more hopeless. But I’ve never seen anyone express this sentiment.
Everyone insists sunshine and rainbows and self-actualization are all just around the bend. I never express my hopeless sentiment because I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s happiness. Are the others like me just doing what I’m doing, keeping quiet so as not to burden anyone else? Or am I the only one?
I feel like the only one.
I’m so lonely and hopeless and exhausted and I would love to know if there are people out there who also know that “it gets better” isn’t always true.
~~~
From: Frank Warren
Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2025
Subject: Re: “it gets better”
I do get some of those secrets, I will try to post a few more.
In the meantime, I’ll share your message on social media tomorrow. We can watch the responses you get.
Thanks for your message, but mail me a postcard. 🙂
Cheers,
-Frank
~~~
“Finally! Someone telling it like it really is. Thank you brave person!
Sending you love.”
[View 2,000 more responses on Facebook and Instagram.]
“Oh man… You are so not alone. I wish I had something profound to say.”
“Hi there, not alone. Thank you for putting what I feel into words.”
“You’re definitely not alone on this one. I’ve been trying to survive one day at a time for more than a decade.”
“Can I just give you all a hug and let you know you are seen? And I
hope you choose to stay?”
“I felt this in my soul.”
~~~
To: “frank”
Sent: Sunday, September 30, 2025
Subject: “it gets better”
What an incredible gift you’ve given me. You could have replied with a simple answer (which I also would have appreciated so much), but instead you gave me a front-row seat to witness the answer unfold in real time. You simultaneously showed me the view from your huge platform while also shielding me with the safety of anonymity.
I’ve read every single comment and am floored at how many others are out there feeling the same as me. For so long I’ve felt so insubstantial, like I could fall in the water and not make a single ripple. This experience made me feel like a real human person who is allowed to feel actual connection to other humans. I don’t have the words for how grateful I am.
Thank you so much for giving me the experience of hundreds of messages in bottles washing up on my shore.
~~~
“Sometimes ‘it doesn’t get worse’ is ok too.”
“I found ‘just take another breath’ more useful than ‘it gets better’.” And I did…
“It hasn’t gotten better for me. I’m in pain every single day. It never
ends. But sometimes I find a cool book to read or a game to play, and I’ll want to find out what happens next. So I’m still here.”
“My moto is ‘oh no, it’s tomorrow again’. So you’re definitely not the odd one out.”
~~~
From: Frank Warren
Sent: Sunday, September 30, 2025
Subject: Re: “it gets better”
PostSecret has shared a secret with me, over and over – no one is alone with their secret.
Your post was seen by over a million people and I know many of them found solace discovering that they were not alone with their secret.
Thanks for being brave enough to speak our story.
Be well,
-Frank