Here Are the Best Epstein Jokes That Are Taking Over Late Night

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The crimes of Jeffrey Epstein aren’t funny. He ruined countless lives and created an unprecedented network of pedophilia and exploitation. He died before he could answer for any of it, before he could provide any details about his conspirators, clients and collaborators. It’s bleak shit. However, watching the Trumpverse implode over their fumbling and incoherent attempts to bury the entire thing has been funny. 

The Department of Justice saying there’s no client list then releasing an edited clip of Epstein’s cell before his death, Trump asking everyone to just “forget about it” — this has culminated in MAGA civil war. Apparently, there are sects of the right-wing cabal that actually do draw the line at child abuse. Everyone from Roseanne Barr to Andrew Schulz is threatening to jump ship. This chaos has been ripe picking for the late-night hosts, and Stephen ColbertJimmy Fallon, Jordan Klepper and Seth Meyers have all dug their teeth into the scandal this week

“Trump is still facing criticism for his handling of the Epstein files, and apparently some Trump supporters are burning their MAGA hats in protest,” Fallon joked on Tuesday night. “People are watching the protests like, ‘Hey, Randy, maybe you should take the hat off first. Don’t do it while you’re wearing it.’”

The night before, Meyers took his own crack at the chaos. “They made the Epstein conspiracy a center of their worldview, despite the fact that Trump and Epstein were photographed together, and partied together, and Trump called Epstein a terrific guy, and Epstein called Trump his closest friend of 10 years,” he explained. 

After detailing the events of the past few weeks, Colbert assessed the real cause of the fracture. By saying there’s no conspiracy, Trump is taking away the conspiracy theorists core worldview. “That is MAGA’s favorite conspiracy,” Colbert said. “What are we going to find out next? That immigrants aren’t eating cats? That if you sail to the horizon, you don’t fall off the world?”

“Oh no, don’t fight…” Colbert joked as he started to slowly put popcorn into his mouth. 

“Donald Trump and Epstein didn’t just party together, they were neighbors,” Klepper said on Tuesday night’s episode of the Daily Show. “Epstein said he was Trump’s closest friend for 10 years. In fact, Epstein’s infamous little black book included 14 different numbers for Trump and his representatives. He had 14 separate ways to contact Donald Trump. When I drop my kid off at camp, I give two emergency contact numbers. And one of them is fake because I don’t need that hassle.”

As the civil war continues, there’s sure to be plenty more late-night fodder for the hosts to chew on. I mean, of the many, many messes Trump has created, this one really gets at the heart of who he is; who most of us have seen him to be for so long. It’s gratifying to watch the false reality Trump supporters have been clinging to for so long start to irreparably crumble. 

Will it last? Who knows. So let’s laugh while we still can. 

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