So I’ve written before about the fact that I have vasovagal syncope (although I’m not sure I’ve ever used the technical term for it) but it’s basically where I pass out if my anxiety gets too bad. It only happens a few tines a year and it even happens when I’m not aware that I’m having anxiety…like if I see needles or blood at a doctors office, in spite of the fact that I’m not afraid of needles or blood at all (wtf, brain?).
Yesterday we took Hailey and their partner out for barbecue and I started to feel the panicky warning signs of abdominal pain and dizziness and sweating and so I took a xanax and laid my head down on the table to try to stop it all and Victor was like, “Your hair is in the beans. Your hair is in the beans” but I was too dizzy to respond and then I felt even worse and so I was like, “I NEED TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY” because I knew I was about to pass out and didn’t want to do it in a crowded brisket joint and so I jumped up and bolted to the door so that I could pass out inside the car, but I apparently misjudged how quickly it was coming on because I heard Victor behind me going, “WHAT IS HAPPENING” and then the next minute I was waking up on the asphalt, entirely blocking the only door of the barbecue place. Apparently trying to outrun unconsciousness had not worked (this seems logical in retrospect but panicky Jenny is an idiot) and so instead I busted through the door like the Kool-Aid man, passed out while running and flew out onto the asphalt where I blocked the door from everyone entering and exiting, and starting making moaning noises (“Like a Frankenstein” apparently) in front of the world. Also, my skirt was apparently up to my bellybutton and I was shaking like I was having a seizure because I guess I can’t even do fainting right. I woke up with gravel in my knees and beans in my hair and a very nice lady who worked there put a bag of cold water on me because I was sweating like I’d just come out of a lake and so it looked like I’d won an invisible goldfish at the fair.
Then I apologized a million times because I was mortified and fell asleep for 5 hours and today I’m weak as a dishrag. So my question is…does anyone else get this? Is it just me?